


In Five Minutes Or Less

by FangsScalesSkin



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Author has a hypnokink but this fic is vanilla, Bets & Wagers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Hypnotism, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 14:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangsScalesSkin/pseuds/FangsScalesSkin
Summary: “Alright then.” Aziraphale turns the hourglass over and places it on a side table. “Do your best. Or worst. You know I was made to guard Eden without rest or tiring.”“That’s a long time to go without rest, Angel,” Crowley murmurs, smooth and low and silken, and Aziraphale startles as the windowblinds close, atmosphere shifting with the shade and the uncommonly soothing voice in his ear.--Aziraphale doesn't usually sleep, but Crowley bets he can make him fall asleep in five minutes or less.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 194





	In Five Minutes Or Less

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is very loosely inspired by the cold sweat I broke out in when Radio Omens Crowley basically hypnotised Mary Loquacious to tell him information, but isn't specific to that version of Crowley. Enjoy!

Crowley barges in through the front door of the shop wearing the smirk he has when he thinks he’s being exceptionally clever. It’s outside the opening hours but neither Aziraphale nor Crowley expect Crowley to pay it any mind.

“What has you looking so pleased with yourself, dear?” Aziraphale stands up to greet him at the door and receive his expected kiss on the cheek.

“I have a bet for you, angel.”

“Oh? Do tell?” 

“I bet I can make you fall asleep in five minutes or less.”

Aziraphale feels his own expression go on an interesting journey, from surprised to intrigued to faintly smug, because what a frankly foolish bet that is.

“If you are that desperate to lose a bet to me, Crowley dearest, be my guest. You know I don’t sleep.”

“Yep, I know that. But I won’t lose.” Crowley smiles with his teeth on display. Aziraphale rolls his eyes; it’s been far too long since Crowley was capable of intimidating him or properly tried to.

“If you try to simply miracle me asleep, that won’t work either.” 

“Mmhm. I still won’t lose. Want to pick your forfeit already?” Crowley rocks back on his heels, hands in his pockets, grin firmly in place.

Aziraphale bites his tongue before he can remind Crowley that pride cometh before the fall. A bit of a touchy subject. Regardless, Crowley is going to lose this bet.

“If I win, you are to read aloud to me. I think Nicholas Nickleby would hit the spot very nicely. Yes. I find myself looking forward to it already.”

“Ssssure, Angel. And if I win, you have to watch Moonraker with me.”

“I’ll never understand how you can watch those cinematographic productions more than once.”

“Aziraphale. I  _ know _ you know the words “movie” and “film”. Don’t you dare start calling them talkies next.”

“I make no promises.”

Crowley just groans. Really, it’s too easy to wind the demon up with a few well-placed anachronisms. 

“Right, anyway. Ready to lose a bet?” Crowley takes off his sunglasses and places them in his jacket pocket, and summons up an hourglass filled with, yes, five minutes’ worth of sparkling golden sand.

“This very moment?” Aziraphale asks, taking the hourglass and looking it over to make sure Crowley isn’t trying to cheat. Everything looks in order, and there’s nothing particularly demonic about it. Aziraphale does trust Crowley with his life, but throwing the results of a petty little bet is something he wouldn’t put past either of them.

Crowley shrugs. “Why not?”

“Alright then.” Aziraphale turns the hourglass over and places it on a side table. “Do your best. Or worst. You know I was made to guard Eden without rest or tiring.”

“That’s a long time to go without rest, Angel,” Crowley murmurs, smooth and low and silken, and Aziraphale startles as the windowblinds close, atmosphere shifting with the shade and the uncommonly soothing voice in his ear.

He whips around to look at Crowley, who is circling, stalking around him, slowly. “I don’t need rest,” Aziraphale asserts.

“Not the slightesssssst bit tired? You’ve been through  _ so _ much, nobody could blame you for taking a little nap.” 

Aziraphale keeps turning to follow Crowley, his vessel getting a mite bit dizzy from it. There’s a hint of a demonic miracle to Crowley’s words, but it’s a slippery one, and he can’t quite identify what it is. He concentrates on trying to figure it out, listening closely to Crowley as the demon speaks, voice above a whisper but quiet enough that Aziraphale has to lean in to hear properly.

“I told you, Crowley, I’m not tired.”

“No? But you blink much more than me, you must be. Your poor heavy eyelids want to slide shut. Let your eyes rest a while.” Crowley watches him with unblinking golden serpentine eyes, and Aziraphale feels very conscious of every time he blinks and Crowley doesn’t. “See? Tired, drooping, heavy eyelids. Can’t hurt to shut them for a little longer.”

“Crowley, you’re being ridiculous…” He’s put some sort of suggestion in his words, surely, because now Aziraphale’s eyes want to stay shut every time he blinks. He doesn’t feel sleepy though, it’s not the same thing.

“Ssssssee? You are tired after all, otherwise your eyes wouldn’t keep sliding shut and wanting to stay like that. Trying to keep them open is just going to make them more tired.” Crowley is smirking. Aziraphale wants to prove him wrong.

But try as he might, he can’t keep his eyes open as long as Crowley does, the demon is part snake after all, and when he at last blinks his eyes to soothe the stinging of the dry air, it seems difficult to open them back up again. The relief of closing his eyes is more profound than it’s ever been, but he forces them back open. Aziraphale’s not going to lose this bet, he  _ never _ sleeps.

“That’ssss it, Angel. Rest those heavy, tired eyes for me. You can’t help needing to rest. It’s been so long but you can relax now. I’ll look after you.” Crowley speaks softly, warmly, soothingly, and the cloud of affection that suffuses Aziraphale at his offer makes Aziraphale want to let him, especially when the angel blinks slowly and his eyelids are so hard to open again. It would be lovely to stop trying to stay awake. Aziraphale struggles against it. There's a bet.

"Every time you shut your eyes, it takes so much longer to open them again, sssso much harder to resist resting." How does Crowley make his hissing sibilants sound so, so soft and smooth? It's like silk or running sand. He's distracted by it and by trying to chase the demonic miracle still lingering in the air and by turning to keep Crowley in his line of sight and he can only half concentrate on the words that slip through and settle in his mind before he can properly brace to resist them. "Wouldn't it be so nice to lay down your heavy head and sssleep?"

His head does feel heavy, nodding down along with his eyelids fluttering shut, only to jerk back to stop from falling over.

"Ohhh, you nodded for me, Angel, you must be getting sleepy."

"Not nodding," Aziraphale mumbles.

"But you did just now, you were agreeing with me. You were agreeing that it would be nice to stop trying to pretend you're not tired and lay down your heavy head and rest and let me watch over you."

"No…?"

"It wouldn't be nice? But if it wasn't nice, you wouldn't be swaying against me with your eyes closed, so it must be nice."

The circular logic is confusing but even harder to concentrate on when Crowley is swaying him gently back and forth and around, making him dizzy and leading him and Aziraphale can't even see where he is being led because his eyelids are too heavy to open but it doesn't matter that much because he trusts Crowley and everything feels fuzzy and sort of heavy and soft and he's never been so relaxed.

"You're ready to go to sleep for me, aren't you?" Crowley lifts Aziraphale's heavy head up with a gentle hand under his chin and lowers it again and nods the angel's head for him. "Yes, yes you are. You're nodding and everything. You must be ready."

Aziraphale can't even lift his head to shake it in a "no". Everything is too heavy and soft and he can't be bothered to speak. Crowley must be right.

"That'ssssss it. Sssssssleep." 

Crowley tips Aziraphale forward to rest against the demon's chest, warm arms around him, and that's it. Aziraphale is falling gently into sleep, and the last thing he hears is Crowley murmuring "my angel" with a deep affection that cushions his way into slumber.

When Aziraphale wakes up again he’s laid out on a cushion covered couch and he has no idea what time it is, but he feels refreshed like all his tension dissolved away in sleep and curiously, somehow, as if he's slightly drunk. He’s also tangled up with an entire skinny snoozing snake demon. Aziraphale rolls his eyes affectionately and strokes Crowley’s hair. The silly demon must have settled Aziraphale on the couch to sleep and decided he looked comfortable enough to lie down and nap with, too.

Aziraphale shakes Crowley’s shoulder and waits for Crowley to stir and make noises of complaint at being disturbed. “Wake up, you silly goose.”

“‘M not a goose. ‘M a snake.”

“You hiss like a goose.”

“Like a snake.” Crowley stretches and makes a few noises like he’s ready to try and go right back to sleep. “Won the bet, though.”

“You did make me fall asleep. But…” Aziraphale raises his eyebrows.

“But?”

“Did you remember to check the hourglass? I recall you saying you’d manage it in five minutes or less.”

Crowley opens his mouth to speak and then closes it, making a strangled noise.

“You forgot to check it, didn’t you?”

“Bless it all, Angel! You looked all soft and comfortable and you’re always so warm, I thought, I’ve won, a little lie down can’t hurt.”

“Well,” Aziraphale says in his most magnanimous tone of voice, trying not to giggle at Crowley’s mistake, “I’m prepared to concede that neither of us won the bet if you are.”

“Fiiine. Lie back down and let me hold you, you’re too comfortable, I don’t wanna move.” 

Aziraphale complies, and Crowley stretches out on top of him with a deep sigh of satisfaction, using Aziraphale’s chest as a pillow.

“We  _ could _ always try again, and remember to check the timer properly next time.” Calling it a draw isn’t a satisfying conclusion, as much as Aziraphale wants to avoid having to watch another blasted Bond movie.

“Nahhhh. Wouldn’t be fair on you. It’d only be easier to hypnotise you a second time.” Now Crowley sounds smug again, despite having forgotten the terms of his own bet earlier. Ridiculous creature.

“Ah, I see. Hypnosis. I thought you’d used some sort of miracle.” Aziraphale swallows at the realisation. It’s an intriguing thought, that Crowley was able to make him fall asleep with his words and eyes and a few tricks almost as if he were a human stage magician.

“Only a small one to sssoften you up a little, make sure you listened to me.” Crowley nuzzles against his chest like he’s about to make a home there. “Now ssshhh, sleep time.”

Aziraphale can’t help but imagine Crowley rendering him helpless, sleepy, and dazed, even more quickly and easily than during their bet. The vulnerability involved. Aziraphale flushes at the idea - thankfully Crowley is too busy trying to nap to notice - and turns it over in his mind while he strokes Crowley’s hair and tries to decide whether he wants Crowley to do that to him again. Eventually, he falls asleep for the very second time, no tricks involved, only how supremely comfortable it is to have Crowley snuggling up to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm considering writing a few sequels to this, please let me know if that's something you'd be interested in and any other comments about this fic, however small.
> 
> I also wanted to let my readers know that I have a fic in the (18+ only) [Flaming Like Anything zine](https://twitter.com/flamingzine) and that preorders are open until the 2nd of March! It's packed full of extremely talented artists and authors, and I'm thrilled to be amongst them.


End file.
